Our Long-Held Suspicions Are Confirmed

I Knew It!!!

Dr James Fairplay! HA

Reminds me of this old chestnut:

ESPN hates you.

And more importantly, ESPN hates your team.

ESPN will go to any length to diss your team. Any length. You know that Miami coozie you used to have but can’t seem to find? ESPN took it. Because ESPN hates Miami. That is, if Miami is your team.

It doesn’t matter who you pull for.

Whoever your favorite team is, ESPN hates it. ESPN hates anything you love, and loves anything you hate.

ESPN hates your dad. Unless you hate your dad. In which case ESPN loves your dad.

If you love bread, ESPN is ‘anti-sandwich.’ If you hate end-pieces, ESPN will run a special about end pieces. Mark May will hold up two hard, crusty-ass end pieces and hype the shit out of them all year long. Bob Ley will run a special called ‘Outside The Loaf.’ Ivan Maisel will write a column with a pun-filled headline like ‘The piece to the end puzzle’ and mind-force you to read it and then email him in anger about it.

If you were for the Union, ESPN was for the Confederacy.

If you had a Sega Genesis, ESPN had a Super Nintendo. If you had a Super Nintendo, ESPN had Sega Genesis.

If you liked like Tombstone, ESPN liked Wyatt Earp.

If you preferred Use Your Illusion I, ESPN preferred Use Your Illusion II.

If you pulled for Dan, ESPN pulled for Dave.

If you think OJ is guilty, ESPN is black.

ESPN hates everything you stand for. Unless you stand for something else. Then ESPN hates that too.

I knew it. :laughing:

Almost like how Miami plays like shit when canes51 attends games.

Hey we won on Saturday.

You should be thanking me. :laughing:

But the only home game I don’t plan on being at is UVA……so……we’re all screwed.

You mean we will only blow out UVA and the rest will either be close or losses. Thanks! Move to Washington. :joy:


If there’s a god, he’s laughing at us. And our football team.