Holy Grail of Cancer Detection

Incredibly positive trials.

Tsar Labs is privately owned, not publicly traded.

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All the blood test news lately has been promising, but this is potentially the best one. I hope the technique pans out and crosses the pond soon.

THEY ALREADY HAVE THE CURES……

JUST NOT FOR YOU……

If only we could cure the cancer on this board…

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Like an idiot, I hadn’t been to a dermatologist in 40 years. I hate sun screen because it burns my eyes. Since my nose was looking sort of strawberryish, I decided to go to a dermatologist for a check up. The doctor looked at my nose and must have hated it. He sprayed my entire nose with liquid nitrogen. Then, he started hunting for other things he didn’t like. He did a thorough job, shot me another twenty times with the nitrogen, then told me he did not like two spots on my body and wanted to cut them off for biopsy. He did a great job, completely painless and told me that he’d call me with the biopsy results.

The phone rang, and the doctor very somberly informed me that the two biopsies were malignant melanomas. I almost fainted hearing the news, and he set up a date for surgery.

The surgery went well leaving me with two gaping holes on my back and shoulders. Meanwhile, my nose turned completely black from frost bite, and I started wearing a Covid mask rather than walking around like a monster. To make sure the melanoma was stanched, the doctor made me take some radiation treatments.

Now I wear long sleeve shirts and hats when I go outside–sort of that calypso look. In three months, I turn eighty years old. Still smoking cigars, drinking Alabama moonshine, and out fly fishing on the river. Never thought I’d get this old. Don’t be an idiot like me. Find yourself a skin doctor and get inspected.

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