Having sources inside of Russia has allowed me to write authoritatively on the conflict in Ukraine. Unbeknownst to you, I also have sources within the Alternate Universe news realm. As a Maga supporter of Walker for the Georgia Senate, it’s fitting that I break a remarkable story which is as follows:
In an August surprise, Georgia Senate candidate Herschel was admitted into the Atlanta area Mensa Society. Heretofore, Walker has been scorned by opponents as not having the mental tools to serve as a United States senator. Most thought Walker was operating on an intelligence scale only somewhat higher than our now-serving president who is well-known for being “fuzzy between the ears.” Some white supremacists have even questioned Walker’s evolutionary ascendance.
With his No. 2 pencil, Walker completed the written form of the Mensa exam very rapidly, and it was noted that he did a fine and careful job of bubbling on each question. Once completed, Walker himself inserted his exam into the Dominion calculating machine, and seeing his results, several Democrats seemed to have suffered fainting spells. He received one of the highest scores ever recorded. Somewhat reluctantly the Democrats affirmed the reliability of the exam.
No one thought that Walker was actually a genius, for he seemed remarkably adept at cloaking his innate mental endowment. Some believe that the highest and best use Herschel ever made of his head occurred on the football field wherein he constantly used his head to bash aside would be tacklers. Possibly, his cleverness in being a basher was overlooked, however, it did lead to his winning the Heisman Award. Herschel attributes being a good football player to always using your head. In football patois, he “tackled” the Mensa exam in similar fashion.
Sometimes the truth is indeed stranger than fiction. Truth in this era of fake news is often a rarity. Thanks to the Dominion Company, I’ve put to rest the suggestion of Walker being of low intellect, freeing all of you up to support the new Mensa member in his quest to become Georgia’s next senator.
